The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique (ODA): Neutralizing Narcissistic Abuse
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Ross Rosenberg is blunt about his own record. More than half the decisions he regrets, he made while angry. Probably three quarters. And the part that makes it dangerous is that anger does not announce itself as impairment. When he is angry he feels sharper than usual, as though he could outthink anyone in the room. He calls that false power syndrome, and it is precisely the state a narcissist is trying to produce, because a fight is the one contest they reliably win.
Observe Don’t Absorb is his answer to that. The principle behind it is George Bernard Shaw’s: never wrestle with pigs, you get dirty and besides, the pig likes it. The technique is a way of remaining present and composed without taking the bait, which he distinguishes carefully from the dissociation a trauma clinician would worry about. This is deliberate and controlled rather than involuntary.
One hour, and it is useful in a way that is unusual for material about narcissism. It works for a client who cannot leave the relationship, or has decided not to, and needs to function inside it. It also works for the clinician, since staying regulated in front of an activating client is the same skill. He also says something most therapists will not, which is that boundaries alone do not work here. They bounce off, in his phrase, like Nerf bullets. Boundaries protect a client in danger, and they do not change the other person.
You’ll walk away with
- False power syndrome: why anger feels like clarity and functions as the opposite
- The induced conversation, how a narcissist starts one, and how a client declines it
- Why boundaries alone do not change a pathological narcissist, and what they are still for
- The technique itself, with its six tenets
- Predictive awareness, the preparation the technique depends on
- Observing as controlled, healthy dissociation, and how it differs from the pathological kind
- Nine fantasy defence techniques, each a way of holding position under pressure
- Mindfulness applied specifically to being manipulated in real time
- Magical thinking and the codependency delusion, and the beliefs that keep a client trying the same thing
- Roller coaster amnesia, and why the last episode stops counting
- Why the technique works for a client who cannot or will not leave
- Its use by the clinician, for staying regulated with an activating client
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CPD Information For Mental Health Professionals
Enjoy complete flexibility with 100% self-paced learning you can access anytime, anywhere, and on any device. This course is included with your Tatra Training membership, along with every other course in the library.
Where this sits: this is the technique on its own, in one hour. It is also taught as the final part of the six-hour course on pathological narcissism, alongside the clinical picture of who you are dealing with.
Course Duration: 1 learning hour
Certificate and CPD hours: On completion you’ll receive a Certificate of Completion to support your CPD records. Your certificates are yours to keep.
Assessment: Complete a short quiz at the end (80% pass mark), which you can resit as many times as needed.
Revisit Anytime: Come back to the course as often as you like while your membership is active, whenever you want a refresher for practice.
CPD Eligibility: This program may be suitable for CPD for professionals such as:
- Psychologists
- Counsellors and Psychotherapists
- Social Workers
- Community Workers
- Mental Health Nurses
- General Practitioners (GPs)
- Occupational Therapists
CPD requirements vary between professional bodies, so please check with your association or credentialing body to confirm you can claim CPD hours/OPD points for this program and what evidence they require.
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Meet Your Instructor
Individuals trapped in destructive relationships with narcissists - and the practitioners trying to help them break free from what seems like magnetic attraction to toxic partners - may need more than traditional codependency treatment to understand and heal the deeper patterns that keep them stuck. Ross Rosenberg has spent over 35 years developing groundbreaking theories about what he calls "The Human Magnet Syndrome," becoming one of the world's leading experts in narcissistic abuse recovery and the pioneer of "Self-Love Deficit Disorder™" as a revolutionary replacement for outdated codependency concepts.
As CEO/Owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute and bestselling author of The Human Magnet Syndrome (200,000+ copies sold in 12 languages, Amazon bestseller since 2013), Rosenberg brings unique expertise that combines clinical excellence with massive global reach. His 34+ million YouTube views, 310,000+ subscribers, and top 2% globally-ranked Self-Love Recovery Podcast demonstrate his exceptional ability to make complex psychological concepts accessible to millions worldwide. His latest work, The Codependency Revolution: Fixing What Was Always Broken, introduces his revolutionary Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ concept, fundamentally reshaping how we understand and treat codependent patterns.
Rosenberg's expertise spans codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), narcissistic abuse recovery, pathological narcissism, trauma treatment, gaslighting recovery, and what he describes as helping people break free from their "magnetic" attraction to partners who hurt them. His approach recognises that traditional codependency treatment often fails because it doesn't address the deeper self-love deficits that create vulnerability to narcissistic partners. He specialises in helping survivors of narcissistic abuse understand why they repeatedly choose harmful partners, develop the self-love necessary to break these patterns, and recover from the complex trauma that narcissistic relationships create.
What sets his training apart is theoretical innovation combined with authentic vulnerability. Rosenberg doesn't just teach recovery techniques - he shows practitioners and clients how to understand the unconscious "magnetic" dynamics that draw codependent individuals to narcissistic partners. His willingness to share his own recovery journey creates the authentic connection that facilitates deep healing in both professional and personal contexts.
For your practice, expect to gain specific techniques for treating narcissistic abuse trauma, tools for helping clients develop genuine self-love, and frameworks for understanding the complex dynamics that keep people trapped in toxic relationships. His approach particularly benefits practitioners working with domestic abuse survivors, those treating complex trauma presentations, or clinicians wanting to develop expertise in narcissistic abuse recovery.
Quick Win: Rosenberg's "Observe Don't Absorb" technique helps clients to create emotional boundaries with narcissistic partners - sometimes providing the first sense of personal power they've experienced in years while building the foundation for deeper recovery work.
Qualifications
- M.Ed., Counseling Psychology, Boston University, 1988
- B.A., Psychology, Towson University, Maryland, 1987
- Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC), Illinois
- Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (CADC)
- Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT)
- 35+ years clinical experience (practicing since 1988)
Authored Books & Publications
- The Codependency Revolution: Fixing What Was Always Broken (2024, introduces Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ concept)
- The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018, Morgan James Publishing, complete rewrite)
- The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us (2013, Premier Publishing & Media, 200,000+ copies sold in 12 languages, Amazon bestseller since 2013)
- The Codependency Cure™ (treatment methodology book)
Media & Global Reach
- 34+ million YouTube views with 310,000+ subscribers
- Self-Love Recovery Podcast: Top 2% globally ranked, 245,000+ downloads
- Featured on: ABC Late Night, Fox News, WGN News, UT-San Diego News
- Regular contributor: Huffington Post, PsychCentral.com
- Featured in: Chicago Tribune, Publisher Weekly
- Hundreds of podcast guest appearances
Professional Experience & Leadership
- CEO/Owner, Self-Love Recovery Institute, Pensacola, FL, September 2013–present
- Owner, Clinical Care Consultants, Arlington Heights, IL, 2012–current
- Expert Witness, Narcissistic Abuse cases, current
- Owner, Advanced Clinical Trainers (professional training company)
Clinical Specialties
- Narcissistic abuse recovery and complex trauma treatment
- Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ (codependency) treatment
- Pathological narcissism and personality disorders
- Gaslighting recovery and psychological manipulation
- Sex and love addiction therapy
- Expert witness work in narcissistic abuse cases
Ready to help clients break free from their magnetic attraction to toxic partners and develop genuine self-love? Discover how Ross Rosenberg's revolutionary Self-Love Deficit Disorder™ methods can transform your understanding of codependency while giving you the tools to help survivors of narcissistic abuse create healthy, loving relationships for the first time.
Feedback & Reviews
This course includes:
- Lessons 2
- Topics 2
- Duration 1 hour
- Quizzes 1
- Language English