About Me

Individuals trapped in relationships with narcissistic partners who use manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse to maintain control - and the practitioners trying to help both narcissists and their victims break these destructive patterns - can need more than traditional therapy approaches to navigate these complex dynamics safely and effectively. Wendy Behary has spent over 30 years pioneering Schema Therapy approaches to narcissistic personality disorder, becoming the world's leading expert in treating narcissists while helping their partners "disarm" manipulative behaviors and reclaim their lives.

As Founder and Clinical Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and Director of The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC, Behary brings unparalleled expertise developed through direct training with Schema Therapy founder Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. Her international bestseller Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed (translated into 15+ languages, now in its 3rd edition) has become the definitive guide for understanding and responding to narcissistic behavior. Her role as former President of the International Society of Schema Therapy (2010-2014) and Founding Fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy under Aaron T. Beck demonstrates her exceptional standing in both cognitive and schema therapy communities.

Behary's expertise spans narcissistic personality disorder treatment, high-conflict couples therapy, schema therapy, betrayal trauma, and what she calls helping people develop "empathic confrontation" skills to deal with narcissistic individuals without becoming victims or enablers. Her approach recognises that narcissistic behavior stems from deeply rooted emotional schemas that require specialised interventions, while also acknowledging that partners and family members need specific skills to protect themselves and potentially influence positive change. She specialises in treating both narcissists who are genuinely motivated to change and their partners who need to learn how to respond effectively to manipulative behaviors.

What sets her training apart is dual perspective expertise combined with schema therapy depth. Behary doesn't just teach about narcissistic abuse - she shows practitioners how to work therapeutically with actual narcissists while simultaneously helping their victims develop the skills needed to either improve the relationship or safely disengage. Her integration of schema therapy with practical relationship skills creates comprehensive approaches that address both underlying personality patterns and immediate safety concerns.

For your practice, expect to gain specific techniques for treating narcissistic personality presentations, tools for helping victims of narcissistic abuse, and frameworks for conducting high-conflict couples therapy safely. Her approach particularly benefits practitioners working with personality disorders, those treating relationship trauma, or clinicians wanting to develop expertise in working with both perpetrators and victims of psychological abuse.

Quick Win: Behary's "empathic confrontation" technique helps partners of narcissists respond to manipulation without escalating conflict - in many cases creating the first sense of personal power they've experienced while potentially opening space for genuine dialogue about behavioural change.

Qualifications

• MSW, Social Work, Rutgers University
• BA, Psychology, Rutgers University
• Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), New Jersey
• 35+ years post-graduate training in Schema Therapy with Dr. Jeffrey Young (1989–present)
• 30+ years advanced level certifications in Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy

Authored Publications

• Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed (1st Edition 2008, 2nd Edition 2013, 3rd Edition 2021, New Harbinger Publications, translated into 15+ languages, international bestseller)
• Multiple professional chapters (co-author) on Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy (Wiley Publications and APA Press)
• Articles on Schema Therapy (co-author) in professional journals
• Contributing chapter author on Schema Therapy for narcissism

Professional Experience

• Founder and Clinical Director, The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey, Springfield, NJ, 1991–present (33+ years)
• Founder and Director, The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC, 1992–present (32+ years)
• Former President, International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST), 2010–2014
• Chair, Schema Therapy Development Programs Sub-Committee, ISST, current
• Founding Fellow and Consulting Supervisor, The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck's Institute)
• Faculty, Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, 1989–2012 (23 years)
• Training and Certification Coordinator, ISST Executive Board, 2008–2010

Media & Speaking

• International recognition as leading narcissism expert
• Featured expert, Psychotherapy Networker Magazine
• Media appearances on national and international television, radio, podcasts
• Regular contributor to professional psychology publications
• International lecturer on Schema Therapy and narcissism
• Corporate speaking engagements on interpersonal conflict resolution
• Co-host, "Co-Parenting with a Narcissist" online community with Susan Stiffelman

Clinical Specialties

• Narcissistic personality disorder treatment using Schema Therapy
• High-conflict couples therapy and relationship therapy
• Partners and families dealing with narcissistic individuals
• Betrayal trauma and PTSD from narcissistic abuse
• Schema Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Empathic confrontation techniques
• Interpersonal skills coaching and public speaking coaching

Treatment Philosophy

• Helping people develop skills to either improve relationships with narcissistic individuals through empathic confrontation or safely disengage while addressing the underlying schema patterns that drive narcissistic behavior in those genuinely motivated to change.

Ready to develop expertise in the complex dynamics of narcissistic relationships while learning to work safely with both narcissists and their victims? Discover how Wendy Behary's Schema Therapy methods can help you navigate these challenging cases while empowering clients to either transform toxic relationships or find the strength to leave them.