Navigating Narcissism with Courage and Empathy – Clinical Tools and Techniques
Wendy Behary was thirty years into learning this work with Jeffrey Young when she noticed what was happening to her in the room. She was apologising. Giving in to criticism. Explaining herself. Agreeing when she did not agree. Not setting limits. All the things that do not work with this client group, and she was doing them from something close to a five year old state.
Her position is that nothing activates a therapist’s own schemas like someone on the narcissism spectrum, and that this is not incidental. It is the reason so much treatment with this group fails. So the course spends real time on what she calls a sturdy self in the chair, on the basis that the techniques will not hold if you cannot stay in your own skin while you use them.
Six hours from schema therapy. She maps narcissism onto the early maladaptive schemas that usually sit under it, including mistrust and emotional deprivation, and shows why a client who has only ever been loved conditionally reacts to your warmth with suspicion. Then the central tool, empathic confrontation, which is how you hold a limit and stay connected at the same time without it becoming a power struggle. She is firm that this is a long piece of work rather than a short protocol, and equally firm that it is possible. She also covers the partners and family members, who are often the ones actually in your room.
You’ll walk away with
- Empathic confrontation as a working technique: holding a limit, keeping leverage, and staying connected without sliding into a power struggle
- A schema therapy conceptualisation of narcissism you can build a treatment plan on, rather than a symptom list you can only recognise
- Why warmth so often triggers suspicion in these clients, traced back to conditional love and the child who was valued for performance
- The narcissism spectrum, including the covert or vulnerable presentation and what changes in the room when that is what you are dealing with
- Your own activation named honestly: the giving in, the avoiding, the competing, and the quieter forms like cancelling sessions or referring on
- Building a sturdy self in the chair, including preparing and rehearsing before sessions rather than improvising when you are already triggered
- Coping modes replaced with healthier ones through moment-to-moment work in the therapy relationship rather than through explanation
- Customised dialogue that reaches vulnerability and emotion in a client who has decided that emotion is weakness and a waste of time
- Realistic expectations about length of treatment, so you are not measuring this work against a twenty session model it was never going to meet
- Work with offended partners: rebuilding a voice of advocacy, setting limits, and using reasonable consequences as the leverage that brings a narcissistic client into treatment at all
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CPD Information For Mental Health Professionals
Enjoy complete flexibility with 100% self-paced learning you can access anytime, anywhere, and on any device. This course is included with your Tatra Training membership, along with every other course in the library.
Course Duration: 6 learning hours
Certificate and CPD hours: On completion you’ll receive a Certificate of Completion to support your CPD records. Your certificates are yours to keep.
Assessment: Complete a short quiz at the end (80% pass mark), which you can resit as many times as needed.
Revisit Anytime: Come back to the course as often as you like while your membership is active, whenever you want a refresher for practice.
CPD Eligibility: This program may be suitable for CPD for professionals such as:
- Psychologists
- Counsellors and Psychotherapists
- Social Workers
- Community Workers
- Mental Health Nurses
- General Practitioners (GPs)
- Occupational Therapists
CPD requirements vary between professional bodies, so please check with your association or credentialing body to confirm you can claim CPD hours/OPD points for this program and what evidence they require.
Course Content
Meet Your Instructor
Individuals trapped in relationships with narcissistic partners who use manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse to maintain control - and the practitioners trying to help both narcissists and their victims break these destructive patterns - can need more than traditional therapy approaches to navigate these complex dynamics safely and effectively. Wendy Behary has spent over 30 years pioneering Schema Therapy approaches to narcissistic personality disorder, becoming the world's leading expert in treating narcissists while helping their partners "disarm" manipulative behaviors and reclaim their lives.
As Founder and Clinical Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and Director of The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC, Behary brings unparalleled expertise developed through direct training with Schema Therapy founder Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. Her international bestseller Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed (translated into 15+ languages, now in its 3rd edition) has become the definitive guide for understanding and responding to narcissistic behavior. Her role as former President of the International Society of Schema Therapy (2010-2014) and Founding Fellow of The Academy of Cognitive Therapy under Aaron T. Beck demonstrates her exceptional standing in both cognitive and schema therapy communities.
Behary's expertise spans narcissistic personality disorder treatment, high-conflict couples therapy, schema therapy, betrayal trauma, and what she calls helping people develop "empathic confrontation" skills to deal with narcissistic individuals without becoming victims or enablers. Her approach recognises that narcissistic behavior stems from deeply rooted emotional schemas that require specialised interventions, while also acknowledging that partners and family members need specific skills to protect themselves and potentially influence positive change. She specialises in treating both narcissists who are genuinely motivated to change and their partners who need to learn how to respond effectively to manipulative behaviors.
What sets her training apart is dual perspective expertise combined with schema therapy depth. Behary doesn't just teach about narcissistic abuse - she shows practitioners how to work therapeutically with actual narcissists while simultaneously helping their victims develop the skills needed to either improve the relationship or safely disengage. Her integration of schema therapy with practical relationship skills creates comprehensive approaches that address both underlying personality patterns and immediate safety concerns.
For your practice, expect to gain specific techniques for treating narcissistic personality presentations, tools for helping victims of narcissistic abuse, and frameworks for conducting high-conflict couples therapy safely. Her approach particularly benefits practitioners working with personality disorders, those treating relationship trauma, or clinicians wanting to develop expertise in working with both perpetrators and victims of psychological abuse.
Quick Win: Behary's "empathic confrontation" technique helps partners of narcissists respond to manipulation without escalating conflict - in many cases creating the first sense of personal power they've experienced while potentially opening space for genuine dialogue about behavioural change.
Qualifications
- MSW, Social Work, Rutgers University
- BA, Psychology, Rutgers University
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), New Jersey
- 35+ years post-graduate training in Schema Therapy with Dr. Jeffrey Young (1989–present)
- 30+ years advanced level certifications in Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy
Authored Publications
- Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed (1st Edition 2008, 2nd Edition 2013, 3rd Edition 2021, New Harbinger Publications, translated into 15+ languages, international bestseller)
- Multiple professional chapters (co-author) on Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy (Wiley Publications and APA Press)
- Articles on Schema Therapy (co-author) in professional journals
- Contributing chapter author on Schema Therapy for narcissism
Professional Experience
- Founder and Clinical Director, The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey, Springfield, NJ, 1991–present (33+ years)
- Founder and Director, The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC, 1992–present (32+ years)
- Former President, International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST), 2010–2014
- Chair, Schema Therapy Development Programs Sub-Committee, ISST, current
- Founding Fellow and Consulting Supervisor, The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck's Institute)
- Faculty, Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York, 1989–2012 (23 years)
- Training and Certification Coordinator, ISST Executive Board, 2008–2010
Media & Speaking
- International recognition as leading narcissism expert
- Featured expert, Psychotherapy Networker Magazine
- Media appearances on national and international television, radio, podcasts
- Regular contributor to professional psychology publications
- International lecturer on Schema Therapy and narcissism
- Corporate speaking engagements on interpersonal conflict resolution
- Co-host, "Co-Parenting with a Narcissist" online community with Susan Stiffelman
Clinical Specialties
- Narcissistic personality disorder treatment using Schema Therapy
- High-conflict couples therapy and relationship therapy
- Partners and families dealing with narcissistic individuals
- Betrayal trauma and PTSD from narcissistic abuse
- Schema Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Empathic confrontation techniques
- Interpersonal skills coaching and public speaking coaching
Treatment Philosophy
- Helping people develop skills to either improve relationships with narcissistic individuals through empathic confrontation or safely disengage while addressing the underlying schema patterns that drive narcissistic behavior in those genuinely motivated to change.
Ready to develop expertise in the complex dynamics of narcissistic relationships while learning to work safely with both narcissists and their victims? Discover how Wendy Behary's Schema Therapy methods can help you navigate these challenging cases while empowering clients to either transform toxic relationships or find the strength to leave them.
Feedback & Reviews
This course includes:
- Lessons 5
- Topics 0
- Duration 6 hours
- Quizzes 1
- Language English